I’ve written before about the golden retriever who sometimes sits sentry in front of her house on our block. This house is smack in the middle of the most convenient dog-walking route. To avoid her, we’d have to cut through a community garden and some weeds that this time of year would soak through myContinue reading “Neighborhood nemesis”
Category Archives: socially awkward
Hating the phone
Each of these things happened today, reminding me why I prefer email to the telephone. A female robot answered the phone and asked me to dial the extension of the person I was trying to reach. “If you do not know the extension, dial zero-zero.” I dialed zero-zero. She said, “Please dial the extension youContinue reading “Hating the phone”
Oh deer, get the fawn out of here
This one’s for book two. I have a wonderful leash designed for walking two very strong dogs side by side. A waterski-like handle attaches to a rope that attaches to two bungee-like cords that attach to my dogs. There are three swivel mechanisms to prevent the dogs from twisting up the leash, although nothing toContinue reading “Oh deer, get the fawn out of here”
More misadventures of the Leo Bug
Tonight I will be reading an excerpt from Smiley Bird: A memoir of Isis, which begins with “Isis was like those children who misbehave in school because they’re TOO smart.” What’s Leo’s excuse? A month ago, I was so proud of my boy for how well he was doing in daycare and school. He wasContinue reading “More misadventures of the Leo Bug”
Wreck and effect
In the week since my high-speed* MVA, I’ve done some spacey things. I squeezed conditioner instead of body wash onto my washcloth in the shower. I flushed the toilet when I meant to turn on the shower. I tried to fax something upside down. (A blank page arrived at the other end.) I can’t sayContinue reading “Wreck and effect”
Smash
Certain things happen at the same time every year. Like daffodils blooming, or finding mouse droppings in your kitchen. Or minding your own business when another motorist plows into your car. I was on my way home from work yesterday when I noticed the cars in the left lane on I-5 slowing. Slowing a lot.Continue reading “Smash”
Dream on, Angry Girl
The last couple of nights, I have had dreams where I’m screaming and yelling at someone rather irrationally. The night before last, a little girl and her mother barged in on my bathroom stall (in my dream). I won’t get into the graphic details, but I wound up in a screaming argument with them aboutContinue reading “Dream on, Angry Girl”
Who hates the snow? Honestly!
Every year, when snow is in the forecast, I hear murmurings (and read them on The Facebook and The Twitter) of “Oh, no, it’s going to snow. Oh, I hope it doesn’t snow!” I always think, “Seriously? I loooove the snow. How can you not love snow?” Saying you hate snow is like saying youContinue reading “Who hates the snow? Honestly!”
I paid full price for @mindykaling’s book
Mindy Kaling is one of my comedy heroines. Right up there with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Julia Louis-Dreyfus. I always thought she was funny in her tertiary role on The Office, and was impressed when I noticed that she had a writer, producer and sometimes directing credit. I “liked” Subtle Sexuality on Facebook afterContinue reading “I paid full price for @mindykaling’s book”
What do I have to be anxious about?
I had an anxiety dream two nights in a row where I was late to the airport. In one dream, Kris Jenner was supposed to pick me and my dad up and drive us. She was late. I hope by including “Kris Jenner” in this post it will boost traffic to my blog. Khloe KardashianContinue reading “What do I have to be anxious about?”
Kari Neumeyer 