I get a funny sort of depressed, nostalgic feeling watching the YouTube my brother made of Barney’s Last Day. It’s not that I feel sad for Barney…he had a great, long life in which he was adored. I feel sad for those of us that have to feel the emptiness of the furry little void he leaves behind, but that’s not entirely it either.
That’s how I think of my mom’s house, on a sunny day, sitting on the blue-and-white striped chair with Barney at my feet. Emerald’s in the picture too, but he was only stationed there while I was in Prague.
Barney’s Last Day looked like that. It was sunny and he had a lovely time, sitting on his rugs, having a bite to eat, wiping his ear on the couch, ambling out to the edge of the driveway…
What makes me sad is the passage of time and the knowledge that it won’t ever be like that again. Things come to an end and life goes on.
I have a new house (occasionally sunny) and a new dog and a new iguana. Perhaps one day I can read with Isis on the floor while Stew lounges on the back of the couch. And maybe it will be just as cozy.
But it won’t be the same.