Author Archives: Kari Neumeyer

Rhymes with smear I can see, from my office window, two deer traipsing through the woods.

Blame it on the rain Maybe I should rename my blog “Rhymes with Marijuana” or Madonna. Or Yo Mama. Since I’ve changed format to be all iguana, all the time. I feel better today. I’d been thinking that Emerald might still be alive if we hadn’t moved in with Rob, and my saying the apartmentContinue reading

Have I driven my five readers away with my maudlin reminiscences? I can’t even count how many weird Emerald-centric dreams I’ve had. Lots of them where his tail broke off. Sometimes because I pulled it, other times I’d discover the severed tail on the floor of the cage. Other dreams involved him biting me (whichContinue reading

Some shouts out Because I can’t think of anything but my lost little friend, I’ll continue eulogizing. I’d like to mention some of the people who helped care for Emerald at one time or other: The Katz family in Chicago, whose little boy got a little scratched up; My Aunt Barb in Indiana and cousin-in-lawContinue reading

The Emerald Buddha I guess I forgot we aren’t Christian. Maybe God is punishing me for failing to condemn homosexuals. Turns out, my little Emerald Buddha was in his final reclining pose when last I saw him. I miss him already, but it makes me feel better to remember all our good times, so hereContinue reading

That was a mean trick. The vet just called to say that Emerald died.

Happy Easter! Apparently, Emerald decided to celebrate by re-enacting the resurrection. He’s doing better and the vet is encouraged. I’m picking him up this afternoon. Hooray!

Here’s Emerald during our first tulip season in Burlington. Oddly enough, I may have just left him to die there. He was in bad shape when I came home to get him. If he’d looked like that yesterday, I would have taken him to an emergency vet. I took him out of his hammock andContinue reading

Plus insult And I’ve been overlooked for a Pulitzer, again!

Emerald’s sick. I e-mailed the closest herp vet (Burlington) and described the problem, asking if he thought it could wait til Wednesday, when they have later office hours. The receptionist called and said he thought it couldn’t. Oh crap. I should have done something a couple of weeks ago when he stopped eating and pooping,Continue reading “Bad sign”