Today, I will not eat any candy. The dark chocolate and walnut Nectar bar (it’s all natural, organic, made of dates) and chocolate-flavored sugar-free pudding will have to suffice.

The candy eating started with my birthday, when both my mother and Rob gave me bags of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Then last weekend, we had pinatas at the celebration of Rob’s 25 years in martial arts.

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That one got busted open, but the other is still in our garage:

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He’s a Kung Fu clown.

Guess Rob’s saving him for something. Is it really bad that I’ve been going into the garage and sneaking candy out of the back of his head? Mini Twix bars, Nestle Crunch, Snickers, Butterfinger, M&Ms, Baby Ruth…

Weight Watchers suggests that for trick-or-treaters, you get candy that you don’t like and won’t be tempted by. A fine plan, except I’ll still eat candy that I don’t like.

For example, Baby Ruths and Butterfingers aren’t my favorites. The week before the party we had an assortment in the house (the leftovers that didn’t fit in the pinatas). The last remaining fun-sized treats were the Butterfingers, ‘cus Rob ate the Baby Ruths. They sat there a few days. Until I ate them. Even though the flaky peanut butter cores got stuck in my teeth and made my jaw ache. I ate them, all right. And I’ll go out to the garage, reach into the clown’s head and eat some more.

But not today. Today I will not eat any candy.

Published by Kari Neumeyer

Writer, editor, dog mom, ovarian cancer survivor

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