I drove through Arby’s last night after class. Although I recently have cleaned the kitchen to the point that the previous night, Rob and I ate at the kitchen table, we decided last night to eat our dinner in bed and watch the Real World.

While waiting for Rob to finish e-mailing or illegally copying a DVD, I put sour cream on my baked potato and thought, “What a mess this would be if it spilled. This is why my dad would never allow food to be eaten on his bed.” I made an adjustment with my ice pack and my hot diggity dog — because I need to heat my neck and ice my lower back — and the fork fell out of the plastic potato holder. I thought, “Yup, I was asking for that to happen.”

As I reached for the fork, I bumped the plastic dish with my knee, or something, and that darned potato went flying off of my lap and landed face down on the comforter. And I’m not even embarrassed to admit that, not unlike Joey Tribbiani, I considered this potato still completely edible. I scooped up most of it, wet a towel, and cleaned up the sour cream.

So…that’s fascinating…

I had a couple of days last week where I was too busy to read all the websites I routinely peruse. But now I’m back to having blocks of time where I’ve got nothing to do but wait for people to respond to my e-mails.

It’s springtime around here for sure. To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, “Every year, back comes spring, with college students playing Frisbee on the grass, shrieking their fool heads off.”

Even with the sun out, it’s still chilly enough to warrant a sweater and a coat, but I’ve at least retired the wool coat for the season.

…oh here’s another really interesting train of thought. And you don’t have to stop reading if you don’t watch America’s Next Top Model. I mean, you can if you want.

Last night a girl named Mollie Sue was eliminated. She had the same problem as Nik from last season, Christina from two seasons ago and Nicole the season before that. Judges think she has no personality. She literally sounded like a robot during her audition.

On last night’s episode, Mollie Sue did well at Improv comedy and it was noted that she really has quite a big personality, but she’s not bringing it with her to the judging room. They shot a CoverGirl commercial and again, when she addressed the camera, she came off as flat and robotic and a little mean.

I blame self-consciousness and I think that’s why I wouldn’t have been a very good actress. Oh sure, I can be wild and crazy in social situations. But once I’m on camera, I freeze a little. As recently as last summer, a video camera was put in my face at a bridal shower, and I was like, “Uh. Congratulations and stuff.”

Last century, a friend of the family got me into an audition at a commercial agency. And c’mon, who doesn’t think I’d be great in a commercial? I even worked with a commercial acting coach before I went in. I practiced the Burger King commercial out in the hall and was sure I’d nail it. (Wow, two fast-food mentions in one post. Both offer vegetarian fare, I must point out.)

And I completely blew it. I don’t remember what the lines were, but I remember, as I was doing it, knowing that I wasn’t doing it right. Not how I practiced.

‘Course now I’m perfectly comfortable being me when I feel like being me, without the pressures of being a “type” or performing on cue. So it’s a nice compliment when someone tells me I have an expressive face and that they think I would have been good at acting.

Although I did screw up some stills Rob took a ways back. His sister took some live action shots during a knife defense class and some posed shots. I look clinically depressed in all of them! I knew we were being photographed for the website, and I was enjoying myself, so how come it didn’t show on my face?

Published by Kari Neumeyer

Writer, editor, dog mom, ovarian cancer survivor

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