They’ll use you up

This observation of my employer, by my biofeedback therapist, makes me think she’s treated some of my coworkers.

The thing about burnout is that it makes you want to leave the profession entirely.

One of the options to get me living in the same city as Rob would involve my moving to a PR kind of position for a non-profit. I’d hope to do some freelance writing, and of course, noveling. I have a meeting tomorrow regarding this PR job, so of course I’m fantasizing about what sort of new lifestyle it will bring. My concern is that I won’t be happy being a “bureau of one,” that I’ll be lonesome for the fun coworkers–even if all we talk and laugh about is how awful the job sitch is. And would it mean that I failed to adequately challenge myself in this field? Would challenging myself mean more jaw pain? (If it meant more stress, probably.)

My biofeedback therapist (who didn’t even hook me up today, I chattered so long) advised me to look at the pace of my life. I remembered that I felt no pain during the first week and a half in Thailand. Not even sore muscles and I was working out twice a day. The therapist said I should look at that as a model. It was a more relaxed environment (in part because everything was taken care of for me) and I only had one thing to do: kickbox. Also I was with Rob 24 hours a day and ate nothing but cooked vegetables and rice. Oh wait, I had some watermelon and pineapple, didn’t I?

Would a calmer pace equal a satisfying life?

Oh, and my jaw started hurting later in the trip, when we were in Tokyo. Do not know if this was because I started eating soybean shaped rice puffs or because of the increased pace and needing to navigate the tranportation system.